Me Being Here Alone

HI people
Don't know how long have I not blogged but I just do not care.
These few days has been something for me,
Have this crush but I can't tell who only certain people know.
Next is I'm not talking to my mom nowdays just she scolding me and I'm caught up in my room on the laptop all the time.


Sometimes I wonder why am I here breathing,living,walking,seeing,feeling isn't it better for me to be like dead or maybe be born and straight away die be up in the heaven waiting for my parents.
But I believe Allah has a path for me to go to and I just have to live it I can't look back and grieve about it but just move on and look for the brighter days.I believe there will be.


Tell you guys about myself
Grown up a full family at the age of 8 my dad divorced my mom.
Lived a hard life and not making many friends being teased around all the time cause of my bad acne and pushed around cause I'm soft.
I'm the man of the house and the eldest brother all the burden I have to carry and a heavy responsibility I have to handle.
Any flaw that I do will reflect on my sisters.
Never been to clubs,chalet,slumber party,taunt
All these I have never experience and I'm 20 now.
You think that I'm a loser...I don't think so,I have lots of things I gain.

I'm Happy Being alone

I'm alone and I'm happy.
Saying so it's because i met someone and i thought that she was the one,seems what i thought was wrong.
It was fun and smooth in the beginning of the dates but so far now it's been quiet and no text reply from her.

I will try but i can't guarantee that something good will happen.I've prepared my mind for the worst.


NO GIRLfriends I can live with......No point having it when you know its gonna end short.
My mind is set that if there is no chance then its not meant to be...Not that i didn't try but it's just not meant to be.
This is what happen when you set expectations and nothing will always have it the way you wanted.
But if she found someone else i will pray for her best,still be her friend not gonna be awkward.

NCC

This is the first post in months maybe years well at least i posted something.

Well this days marks the day i had done my first race and somehow i feel sad cause if i were to be more stable and also more practice on K4 crew boat it would 't be like this.And for one I know I want to win it just that it wasn't the best and it is yet to come.

Anyways after this if my crew were to break up im alright i will do better in solo or a partner cause 4 is really a stress number.


This are some pics of the day of race.....